This is the Life I Live.

a post..

2011-12-17T21:41:00.004+08:00

..straight from the very bottom of my (fragile) heart! this is a song i long dedicate to the man who brought me into this world.

*emotionless by good charlotte*

(taken here)

dear *you*,

first and foremost..

i hope you're doing fine, even if i'm/we're not.

that's not the main point.

the thing is, do you ever realize that..

you were never there..

to see me growing up to what i am today.

you were never there..

to hold my hand and walk me to school.

you were never there..

to read me bedtime stories.

you were never there..

to tuck me into bed and kiss me goodnight.

you were never there..

to dry my tears and tell me that everything's gonna be just fine.

you were never there..

the day i graduated.

will you be at my wedding? i doubt.

and yes, do you still remember the day i was born?

do you remember my birthday? i don't think so.

christmas? do you ever think of this little girl?

has 'she' ever cross your mind?

*deep sigh*

..and for that and more, i loathe you lots. to the very core.

yet, i can't lie to myself, there are times, i notice, i miss you badly.

i miss you up to the extend that i forget how much i loathe you.

seriously, I MISS YOU..

love,

your daughter.

Dear Mr. Santa...

2011-12-13T16:08:00.005+08:00

its the time of the year which many of us love the most. its christmas time again, peeps! let us all be happy. and be merry. so, what's on your wishlist? mine, i already have something in mind and i really hope santa will grant my wish this year. please, santa, please! i swear i've been incredibly good throughout the year. and so, what is it on my wishlist? here's what i want..

*drum rolls*

*tadaaa*

samsung galaxy tab 7.7

(handsome, isn't he?)

although the screen is slightly smaller, yet it offers great improvements from the previous version of samsung galaxy tab. this is way, way better. and trendy. and hip. and everything nice. and i'm so in love. oh well, i'm not so literate about this technology thingy but if you wanna know, you can always google it up. do watch this too. a brief preview of samsung galaxy tab 7.7. might be useful and helpful, especially when you're in dilemma considering which new toy to play with. or if you think that this is not convincing enough, feel free to visit here, as they offer you much wider selection of (mouth-watering!) toys. and yes, you can even do comparison between the toys that you eyeing on. but, if i were you, i'll go for samsung galaxy tab 7.7. oh samsung galaxy tab 7.7, be mine! please!

*ehermmm*

dear mr. santa,

this is supposed to be a letter to you.

i think this year i deserve a samsung galaxy tab 7.7 as my christmas present.

don't hesitate to drop it down my chimney at any time this month.

thank you very much.

merry christmas.

ho ho ho!

love,

mary :)

hello, world!

2011-09-30T16:21:00.002+08:00

yes. i know. it's been ages. but i promise, i'll be updating soon. real soon.. :)

~ ♥ ~

2010-08-10T09:11:00.005+08:00

if you love something, set it free...
if it comes back, it's yours.
if it doesn't, it never was yours.

note to self:
accept the truth, accept the ugly truth!
someday you'll finally understand that
everything happens for a reason.
and that you'll appreciate
the decision you've made today.
so, get up, smile and just say,
"I'LL MAKE IT THROUGH!".

My Dream Wedding!

2010-07-08T11:43:00.012+08:00

just checked my inbox this morning. guess what --- my dearly girlfriend is inviting me to her wedding reception and is reserving two seats for me and a partner. am so happy for her and just can't wait for the big day to finally arrive but on the other side, am kinda "worried", who shall i go with? i don't even have a partner (oh great!~ urghhh!~). but wait, the reception will be in december, maybe i'll be able to find someone to be with by that time, which i really hope i will. but if i don't, it'll be no harm to come alone. who knows, my prince charming might be somewhere around, waiting for me, at the reception,... (ok, ok, i'll stop dreaming...)...

not only her, it's like everyone around me is getting themselves into commitment. everyone is getting married. everyone is getting babies. and the worst part is --- everyone is asking me when will i get married? urghhh!~ i just don't know how to answer this question. it is so fucking hard that even my KISSM's Ujian Akhir Kursus seems much easier. sometimes i myself even wonder if i ever get married. honestly, i have so much plannings in life but sadly, i don't see any picture of me getting married. it's not that i'm against marriage or anything like that but you see, at this age, i still couldn't find myself a soul mate. hello, is he lost or something? all i ever met were a bunch of jerks who did nothing but breaking my heart into pieces. urghhh!~ i really had enough of you, jerks...

but then again, i never stop hoping that one day, i'll be able to meet someone, get married and live happily ever after. just like cinderella. i do have faith that everyone in this world has their own fairytale. happy-ending fairytale. and i strongly believe that i have mine too, which is yet to come...

... and so, here's the list to my dream fairytale wedding :-

1. the ring!

image taken here

image taken here

2. the dress!

image taken here

image taken here

3. the cake!

image taken here

image taken here

4. the simple-yet-perfect garden wedding!
image taken here

image taken here

♥ p/s:
so, prince charming dearest, where are you? ♥

The Twilight Saga : Eclipse (2010) & Remember Me (2010)

2010-07-06T10:17:00.002+08:00

The Twilight Saga : Eclipse (2010)
i recommend this movie to everyone. this is just a movie not to be missed and i personally think of all the three (twilight, new moon and eclipse), this one (eclipse) really nailed me. honestly! with more action and more romance and even more decisions to be made, eclipse truly played with my emotion that i actually cried, like a litter of tears. i know, i know, it's just me being so emotional. but hey, it'll be out in cinema tomorrow, so make sure to free your schedule so that you can watch it and judge it yourself. if you're going to ask me "team edward?" or "team jacob?", well, my answer would definitely be, "still, TEAM EDWARD!!!~".

Remember Me (2010)
another movie not to be missed in the year 2010 is remember me. this is also one good movie about life, family and love. there's this one quote by gandhi that has been used not less than twice in this movie and it is, "whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it". "why?", you may ask. according to tyler (played by robert pattinson), it is simply because no one else will, and that is so true.

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p/s: so now, can you see how much robert pattinson has got his influence on me? ♥

Will You Marry Me?...

2010-07-01T12:46:00.002+08:00

i may not be pretty. i may not be rich. i may not be famous. and yes i know, i'll never get to be the cover girl for elite magazine. not even cleo, i know. but hey, i can give you all the love in the world, if you're willing to marry me. i promise. hell yeah. so...

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*
*
*
*

Mr. Robert Pattinson a.k.a. Mr. Edward Cullen,
will you take me as your wifey?

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*

say "YES!" please...

♥ ♥ ♥

(image taken here)

my heart bleeds!

2010-06-30T17:39:00.004+08:00

what if...
i accuse you being a liar,
like almost everyday,
just because you lied before.

what if...
i label you a player,
well yeah,
that's what you are,
once upon a time.

what if...
i call you hopeless,
it suits you well,
you know,
when you don't even have a goal in life.

what if... what if... what if...

how would you feel? how? tell me how!

to tell you the truth, i am terribly disappointed of the words that came out of your mouth. it shows that you're just unwilling to accept the ugly truth of me. how could you? i've learned to accept the ugliest of you, is it so hard for you to do so? if it's so hard, then i don't think you deserve the best of me, either. so, let's just think thoroughly over "things" 'cause i never want to have any regret in my life...

enough said.

i hate assignments!~

2010-06-14T20:27:00.002+08:00

and oh yeah, i have two more assignments due this thursday. oh, great. the worst part is that i'm having flu. yes, thanks to you, mr flu! *sigh* i hope i'll be fine by tomorrow morning. need to bear the remaining ceramah kissm and ujian akhir kursus on saturday. God, do bless me! better continue with the assignments now. but, before that, let me just tell you that...

I
HATE
ASSIGNMENTS
!!!

new love!~ ♥

2010-05-25T10:40:00.003+08:00

jumpsuit! jumpsuit! jumpsuit!

oh, i just love how pink this one is!
but, considering my height,
i don't think it'll look good on me.
God, please make me taller!~

i'm dying to get one of these!~
think i saw few in Bukit Bintang.
am so gonna grab one real soon.
♥ ♥ ♥

kenapa...

2010-05-22T01:02:00.004+08:00

...manusia tidak pernah menghargai benda
yang ada di hadapan mata?

"kalau di hadapan mata pun tidak dihargai,
apa lagi yang jauh. kan kan kan?"

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*
*
*

jika anda TER-baca, atau SENGAJA membaca,
dan secara kebetulan anda TERASA,
maka...
ANDAlah orang yang dimaksudkan!~

oh ya, sesungguhnya,
saya memang SENGAJA!~

POST INI MEMANG DITUJUKAN KHAS BUAT ANDA...
(well, you know who you are!~)

Thank God I Found You...

2010-05-10T14:23:00.002+08:00

despite the bumpy roads that i have to walk through in this life lately (well, to be ultimately honest, life has not been treating me quite well these days...), still, i wanna thank God for sending someone into my life. he's been there with me, through thick or thin, and yeah, i feel all my burdens been enlightened whenever i talk to him. hey you, yes you, you know who you are, thanks a zillion for everything that you've done. it's a miracle how you've touched my life in so many ways. i ♥ you always...

Happy Mother's Day, Mothers!~

2010-05-09T16:26:00.002+08:00

To all mothers throughout the world,

Each and everyone of you are such a blessing.
Thank you so much for all that you have done!!!~

Money, Money, Come To Mommy!~

2010-05-07T14:08:00.002+08:00

geez, i hate when it comes to times like this. when money seems to be the first thing that comes across my mind, early in the morning, and at night, it'll be the last thing that i can think of before i doze off. been spending a lot lately, i know. and now, it's time for me to regret. urghhh! God, drop me some money from heaven, i promise i'll spend it wisely this time. :)

♥ my new love ♥

2010-05-03T21:25:00.003+08:00

been reading a lot lately. well, yeah, considering that i don't read this much previously. been spending too much on novels, too. but, nah, the novels i bought really worth the amount i've been paying, thus, no single regret on that. and so, peeps, here are two novels i would like everyone else to read, especially if you're the bookworm type of person. you'll surely love these two novels, i can assure you, and trust me, you'll find yourself turning the pages until the very end. and now, let me present to you the two novels i've been bragging about...

"Dear John"

"The Last Song"

p/s: Mr. Nicholas Sparks, two thumbs up for these two great novels!~

Tamadun Islam lecture... i like!!!~

2010-01-08T09:40:00.008+08:00

At first, I wasn't so happy with the fact that I have to sacrifice myself and take 3 hours lecture of Tamadun Islam (plus, one Kerja Kursus Pendek), when some of my course mate can happily do their own stuffs like, sleeping, YM!-ing, FB-ing, and bla bla bla... The reason behind this is because i don't have enough credits to transfer from my previous Tamadun Islam lecture, back in Uni. Thank God, I'm not the only one - I have 9 other companions. After the first 3 hours of lecture, I found things weren't as bad as I thought before. I enjoyed the lecture very much. It was fun, not like what I experienced in Uni years back (sorry, Encik Whatever-Your-Name-Is! ). The Ustaz lecturing us is also open-minded and has a very firm, solid background on Islamic studies. What I like most about him is his way of thinking. It mesmerizes me how he managed to "tackle" our attention to follow his 3 hours lecture, whereas in Uni, I couldn't even stand the first 30 minutes with Mr-Whoever-He-Is. Amazing, right? Really am looking forward for Tamadun Islam lecture next week...~

sorry.. :(

2009-12-21T09:36:00.004+08:00

last night, i had a bad dream. it was real bad that when i woke up this morning, i can still feel the "pain". it remains, till this very moment, and doesn't show any sign of recovering.

***

she's a friend of mine. not that close, but as the time goes by, we seem to be blending in well. i learn to accept everything about her. every single thing. somehow, there's one part of her which i feel like i don't quite understand. but, nah, the hell with that. i don't wanna think of it as something that can destroy the friendship we've built. nah, not after (approximately) 6 months we've been friends.

***

but, the dream i had last night was scary. i don't want it to ever happen. i don't want her to use my name in any way she wants to, like the one she did last time. i don't want people to blame me on thing that i don't even have a tiny-miny idea of what the heck it is. in short and to make myself clear, i don't want SHIT. i just want a SHIT-less or SHIT-free life.

***

friend, you're forgiven. i've forgiven long, long time ago. but, i'm sorry. so sorry. the scar seems to bleed again... :(

jingle bells, oh, jingle bell...

2009-12-19T20:22:00.003+08:00

...jingle all the way, baby!~ yay!~ it's just days before christmas. owh, i just can't wait for the day to finally come. anywhere, i would like to wish everyone, "MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR"!!!~

i'm on my way towards becoming a teacher...

2009-08-22T09:28:00.008+08:00

it's been ages since i last "landed" here. i've been busy (real busy, i mean!) these days. my life changes so rapidly that sometimes i feel i have some difficulties in coping up with things. and for your information, i'm no longer a volunteer under jabatan kebajikan masyarakat negeri sarawak. i'm currently undergoing my 1 year kpli training in institut pendidikan guru malaysia kampus ilmu khas, cheras, kuala lumpur. i'm a soon-to-be-teacher, God's willing.

being a teacher is not easy, i must admit! it's not like you'll get to work half day, seriously, it's not like that. teachers need to prepare lesson plans, teaching aids, handouts, quizzes, tests, marking books, attending courses here and there, replacing classes, in charge of co-curriculum, and lots of other task. honestly, there are times when i feel like quitting, but then again, that's so not me. being a coward is so not me, ok. i'll never, ever quit. SAYA BANGGA MENJADI GURU!

just another quick update...

2009-05-20T12:59:00.002+08:00

...soon after i had my lunch. i should take few shots of us, having lunch in the pantry. yeah, some other day, i should. well, i'll be having an interview for KPLI tomorrow. do pray for me, buddies! i really hope i'll be selected for the june 2009 intake. i need a permanent job, yeah, i really do. plus, being a teacher is what i always want to be. teaching kids. yeah, i just love kids...

p/s:-
pssst, what a lame post, right? what's happening to me lately? i sound so lame. God, help me, please!!! OK-LA-BUB-BYE!!! ♥

quick update!

2009-05-19T07:58:00.006+08:00

it's been ages (hell yeah, AGES!!!) since my last update. lots of things took it place and there are lots of stories to be shared. i've been longing to blog my thoughts here but damn, my fucking modem is "rosak" by last friday's thunder. oh no, forgive me for my lousy english. oh man, i almost forget how to speak english. this is an impact (am i using the correct term?) from speaking only bahasa melayu sarawak in office. oh God, help me!!!

p/s:-
will be updating real soon. this is a promise. peace!

love-love,
yours truly... ♥

my 10th day as a volunteer...

2009-04-27T22:03:00.005+08:00

today was quite exhausting. attended 2 meeting - one in the morning and another one in the afternoon. guess what, i got the chance to meet the State Secretary. i sat just few chairs away from him. happy happy. he's a very inspiring man, i must say. besides him, i also got the chance to meet two other famous faces of the government sector. at first, i felt kinda low, low, low. i was surrounded by those of grade 41 and above and... the State Secretary. and me? i'm only a volunteer. but who cares? being a volunteer is not something that's not good. i got the chance to learn many (like, MANY!) things. in fact, i'm happy that i chose to be a volunteer. even though i don't get as much pay as others, but still, what i earn every month is enough. most importantly, the experince i gain is something i could never had elsewhere. hope you're enjoying you job too! love love!~ :)

my 8th day as a volunteer...

2009-04-23T19:56:00.002+08:00

i was given my very own cubical today, and hell yes, i have my own desktop pc which is connected to the internet, and oh yes, i'm darn happy. i just can't wait for tomorrow to come.

early in the morning, en najib called. he wanted to see me. and so he handed me few tasks to do. after that, i continued with my previous task -- the computer and software auditing. it was quite hard for me as i'm not quite familiar with those of the federal (our offices are seperated by level, ours (state) is at ground floor, and as for federal, their office is at the first floor). i was lucky, though, sukma was there to help me. i can say 95% of the auditing task has already been completed (please note -- for HQ only!). that's mean, i have 10 more divisions to cover (minus kuching division).

and oh yeah, i went over to the kuching division office today, to get the list of computers handed by SAINS to them. i was fortunate as i met en david and pn salbiah who helped me a lot with the list. so, i'm done with kuching division. for the rest 10 divisions, i'll need to send them memorandum rasmi tomorrow, asking them to fax me their lists. i hope i manage to finish everything by next week. do pray for me.

i made few new friends too today. best kan? so, how was your day?

oh, what a life...

2009-04-22T19:52:00.007+08:00

i'm been a bit busy (plus lazy!) lately and thus i've left my blog un-attended for like one week (or was it two weeks?). for your information, i've reported for duty last week, which was on the 14th of april, and yes, i've chosen to be a volunteer. i, seriously am satisfied with my decision this time. i'm no longer the greedy mary who can't think of anything else other than money, money and money. it came to my realization that there are things more important that money. that's why i chose to be in the welfare department. :)

my first day was quite boring. i met few important people of the welfare department. and oh yeah, i was attached to the HQ. the first task that was given to me was to call the PPB of all divisions throughout sarawak. everything went on well unless for this one division. he complained that i was being rude to him. i didn't. and i was only doing what was assigned to me. i was lucky that my senior volunteer backup-ed me. other 10 divisions responded well to my call. and if it was true that i've been rude, the other 10 divisions will also be complaining about me. but they didn't. that's when i finally learned that it's not easy to pleased everyone. and so, that was my first lesson.

my second day was great! i went along with my boss to the stations under welfare department. RSK was my favorite place. it's a place better known as rumah orang tua. yes, it's a place for all the orang tua "dumped" by their children. it was my first time being there and it was so damn memilukan. ouch! i simply cannot tahan seeing those folks being left there even though they are very well taken care of. can you imagine seeing your father and mother living in rumah orang tua? kejam!!! i just pretended to be happy to see them jumping up and down (they were having sukaneka at that time!) but actually my eyes were filled with tears. ouch! next, we went to PPS, a home for those un-impaired. they were all so friendly and there was this one chinese girl called me to see her jahitan tampung seribu. i was surprised to see her jahitan. so neat. what i admired the most was her friendliness. even though she has difficulty in talking, she tried her best to communicate with me and i was so touched. i wish my boss will bring me there again some other day.

the rest of the days were spent doing office tasks. today, my seventh day, was interesting too. we went to merdeka palace for lunch. i ate everything. everything! i'm still full now, so no dinner for me. i, seriously look forward for tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, next week, next month... etc... not forgetting, i was also included in the urusetia list for the upcoming event. happy happy happy. will be updating more soon. bye-bye! :)

...and yes, something else made my day --

i do hope i'll make it through the PAC and also the interview. do pray for me. wishing all the good good things come my way this year! i wish the same for all of you too... :)

i embarrassed myself this morning...

2009-04-10T13:28:00.005+08:00

i went to church this morning for the good friday mass, and as usual, we sat at the left wing of the church (lady's chapel side). i spotted a friend of mine, mr bobby, sitting not so far from where i sat. he was a senior, back in my high school. i saw him quite frequently in church, but today, he looked different. he looked more handsome than before. i kept asking myself, "what have he done. kenak nya boleh jadi makin handsome so suddenly? why why why?..." i didn't get to smile or wave my hand at him because i didn't want to look so over-excited, plus he was not alone. it was his girlfriend, i guess, sitting next to him. so, i didn't want her to get the wrong idea. things went on as usual, i sat, i stood, i kneeled, i sang, i listened, i yawned...

and then, came the veneration of the cross session, where i have to walk passed him, on my way to the alter. so, as a junior, and as a friend, i should tegur him, or at least smile at him. and yes, i did, i smiled. and he smiled back. and so i made my way to the alter and then came back to my sit. those sitting at the back, made their way to the alter. this is my favorite session as i get to see different people with different "style". as i enjoyed observing people, something/someone caught my attention, it was mr bobby. he waved and smiled at me and i replied to him.

wait,... oh holy crap,... did i just saw mr bobby??? i turned to look at the other mr bobby. my, oh, my. i was wrong, right from the very beginning. the guy i smiled with earlier on wasn't mr bobby, i smiled with the wrong guy. i got so embarrassed, i wish i could just disappear from the church. i was fortunate enough the mass ended soon enough after i figured out i've just embarrassed myself. thank god. so, morale of the story, don't get to friendly if your friend(s) suddenly transform(s) jadi makin cantik or handsome. :)

life, oh, life...

2009-04-09T22:38:00.005+08:00

oh how i wish i'm 12. or 13. or 14. 15 would be nice too!
so i won't have to bear any worries this life brings.
it's better to skinned knees that to face adulthood.
oh God, make me young. make me forever young!

 ♥ oh-bla-di oh-bla-da... life goes on... ♥

inikah transformasi???

2009-04-05T09:17:00.002+08:00

last night's result was the most shocking result ever in akademi fantasia history. two stars were eliminated last night. they performed so well and not much were being commented on them. but why, why the hell were they eliminated out? is this what transformation is all about?

p/s:-
i'm prepared for whatever that may happen in the next concert.

i love you, allison iraheta...

2009-04-02T13:41:00.005+08:00

no matter what they say
about your clothes and appearances,
i think you rock when you sing don't speak.
you go, girl...

curi-ed from we-win...

2009-04-02T11:33:00.005+08:00

if you enjoyed your high school years, you'll do it.
if you have nothing else to do, you'll do it.
if you're here to read the questions/answers and pretend to hate to do it,
deep down you'll still do it.
this tag is so fun because the answers can go on and on.
read if you miss your high school years.
if i tagged you, i wanna hear your memories. :) & ♥

- my high school years -

:: biodata ::

1) which school did you go to?
+ smk green road, kuching, sarawak, malaysia.

2) what classes were you in?
+ form 1 - 5 h.

3) what was/were your favorite lesson(s)?
+ i loved chemistry, for i enjoyed to experiment new "nuclear" with my fellow monkeys. i loved biology too. i was once a "pakar biologi" of my class. nerdy!
* pakar = those with the highest mark in any subject will be given the title "pakar" for the respective subject.

4) if you could remember, what time was your recess?
+ i don't remember, but all i know is roziah and me always went out early for recess and by the time everyone else is out of the class for recess, the two of us were already bloated.

5) list down your favorite food/snacks.
+ uncle's dried mee/kueh tiaw with tomato sauce.

:: style ::

1) did you have a nickname way back in high school?
+ friends called me may. they still call me may.

2) how did you wear your socks?
+ i wore it just like everyone else should.

3) have you been suspended due to the way you put on your uniform?
+ i was "banned" to wear baju kurung because i didn't put on my singlet. admit that you're jealous of me because i was damn hot and damn sexy and damn jambu that time, puan b!

4) were you given plenty of reminders about your appearance?
+ not all the time. just sometimes.

5) who did you look up to when you were in high school?
+ puan nurhanani. she's small-sized but she thinks big. and yes, i adored her.

:: punishment ::

1) name one memorable scene where you were punished in front of the whole class.
+ not in front of the class, but in front of everyone. i was asked to stand on the stage during assembly. reason -- once i talk, it's unstoppable.

2) how many times did you skip class? what were you doing?
+ un-count-able. what i did -- eat. gossip. other things that benefit me.

3) give one scene where you escaped from being caught/punished.
+ never got caught/punished. i'm good at doing crimes.

4) did you vandalize any school property?
+ just the tables. and chairs, sometimes. and walls, not frequent.

5) did you ever make any teacher cry?
+ me? never. i'm good. my class -- yes. few times. i'm always in the jajal class. so, yes. teachers that taught my class always got into some troubles.

1) who were your favorite teachers?
+ puan nurhanani.

2) describe your DM.
+ what's dm?

3) who was the funniest/weirdest/loudest teacher?
+ funny - none. weird - puan j g. loud - encik c. nama sebenar tidak boleh di-disclose di sini. harap maaf.

:: social circle ::

1) were you popular back then?
+ i consider myself popular (ceh! perasan!) because every now and then, when i met my seniors and and juniors back in high school, they still know me.

2) were you in a big group of boys/girls or small ones?
+ not so small, not so big. just nice.

3) who were your best friends?
+ my girls. they know who they are.

4) did you and your friends have nicknames?
+ we used to be known as the spice girls after we performed during our majlis perpisahan 1998. i'm victoria beckham (konon-konon!) because i sang her part.

5) what were your favorite memories of you and your friends?
+ stayed back at school to ~~study~~ chit-chat and gossip and lepak. i miss my girls. a lot.

:: co-curricular activities ::

1) what type of CCA were you in?
+ i'm most active in program usahawan muda (pum).

2) what did you have to bring to your CCA?
+ body, mind and soul.

3) what did your CCA required you to do?
+ presentations in front of many.

4) got injured?
+ not really.

:: closing ceremony ::

1) how did high school changed you?
+ i've been changed and transformed in so many ways.

2) sing one verse of your school song.
+ smk green road, smk green road...

3) what was your favourite question?
+ "cikgu, kenapa...?"

4) who/what will you remember from your high school?
+ all the happiest days and years of my high school life.

5) any memories you will not forget.
+ i'll cherish everything, for the rest of my life.

my first day as an internet engineer executive...

2009-04-01T21:22:00.005+08:00

today is my first day of working. well, i'm still under one month probationary. if i don't do well, i'll get myself terminated. but, somehow, i think i'll do well. i know i can. i've proven to them that i manage to do the assignment they assigned to me. eventhough it's not 100% perfect, but still, i'm happy with the outcome. i can do rss, yeah, i did it. for my first day, they assigned me with the online application form for rimbunan hijau foundation. i have three days to accomplish it. i really hope i can deliver it well.

well, today is quite a "fruitful" day for me. i got another offer from the state government of sarawak. not an official job, but as a sukaralewan. they offered me a place at the head quaters of jabatan kebajikan masyarakat negeri sarawak. the pay is lower by rm380 compared to being an internet engineer executive and the place is quite far from my home. but somehow, i'll get to meet a lot of people along the way, and i might get myself involve in charity-doing. i've always wanted to do charity and to be like lady diana ~~so that i can marry prince william~~. so, obviously, i've made up my mind. i've chose to be a sukarelawan. (sukarelawan=volunteer)

and today, wasn't all good for me too. i received another "parcel" from ptptn, warning me that they'll kenakan tindakan undang2 if they don't receive any news from me in 14 days. ouchhh! will the put me to jail if i don't pay then within these 14 days? oh god, i don't want to be jailed...

too many happenings in just a day. not to say a day -- the day is not done yet. whatever tomorrow shall be, i hope it'll be better than today. toodles... :)

Akademi Fantasia 7 (Tugasan Minggu Ke-4)

2009-03-31T11:00:00.002+08:00

Pelajar Wanita - Songs by Amy Search
1. Aishah - Mentari Merah Di Ufuk Timur download me!
2. Claudia - Suralaya Dalam D Major download me!
3. Isma - Kerja Gila download me!
4. Rubisa - Tiada Lagi download me!
5. Zizi - Aku Dah Bosan download me!

Pelajar Lelaki - Songs by Datuk Siti Nurhaliza
1. Akim - Destinasi Cinta download me!
2. Aril - Lakaran Kehidupan download me!
3. Hafiz - Cinta Ini download me!
4. Qhaud - Di Taman Teman download me!
5. Sidi - Ku Milikmu download me!
6. Yazid - Aku Cinta Padamu download me!

The students will also be singing 2 bonus songs -- Isabella (download me!) and Jerat Percintaan (download me!).

got tagged by the cute cik eli... :)

2009-03-30T10:42:00.008+08:00

1. If you could spend one ringgit, what would you spend on?
♥ candies. i have an overwhelming compulsion for candies.

2. What is your most favorite things to do?
♥ eat. this explains why i'm big and fat.

3. What kind of news do you read?
♥ the classified part of borneo post. i'm pretty sure you'll love that part too -- only if you're jobless like me.

4. What would you give up in return to eat all you want in the world and not get fat?
♥ my sleeping habit. can kah ar?

5. Is there someone in your heart right now?
♥ yeah. someone from high school. was browsing through his facebook just now when i saw a photo of him with his girlfriend. it's killing me, man.

6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
♥ hell no. money is everything.

7. What make you turn twice to someone?
♥ he/she looks like someone i know.

8. What do you feel like doing right now?
♥ travel in a time machine to my high school years and yes, i'll make everything right.

9. If there's someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
♥ yes. i won't let any word left unspoken, for i never want to have any regret in the future.

10. List out three good points of the person who tagged you?
♥ cik eli is cute.
♥ cik eli is friendly.
♥ cik eli is soft-spoken.

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
♥ accepts and loves me for who i am.
♥ understands and knows me very well.
♥ never fails to make me smile.
♥ honest and never leave me for another woman, even when i got fatter and f-uglier than now, wrinkled, white haired, and bla, bla, bla...
♥ gives me the right dose of love i need everyday, for the rest of my life.

12. What the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?
♥ he cheated on me.

13. Are you left-handed or right-handed?
♥ right-handed.

14. If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
♥ pizza with lots of meat and salmon and (some) vegetable (e.g. carrot, corn, pineapple, and bla, bla, bla...) and mayonnaise and cheese on it.

15. If you had a choice to be rich or happy, which one would you pick?
♥ happy. and rich. can i have both?

16. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
♥ my lazy-ness.

17. Who is the person that you can share all the problem with?
♥ God.

18. Cats or dogs?
♥ puppies.

19. What is the one thing you love about yourself?
♥ i love everything about me.

20. If you have a million ringgit, what would you do?
♥ buy myself a car.

21. Who's next?
♥ angenzzz.
♥ farah.
♥ rozy.
♥ tina.
♥ we~win.

Old Rex Cucur Udang Cafe, Satok, Kuching...

2009-03-29T17:22:00.008+08:00

after i'm done with my mtest yesterday, mom and me went to have lunch at satok. at first, we planned to lunch at thompson corner, at my nenek saudara's place but there was no place to park. so mom and me changed our mind and we went to the old rex cucur udang cafe, not far from pasar minggu satok.

this place is quite famous among cucur udang lovers as they serve the best cucur udang in town -- it's true. so, what we ate -- mom ordered for nasi ayam stim, i ordered for nasi ayam kari, and that only costed us rm7.50. reasonable, kan? reasonable and damn sedap i tell you. i even told mom that we should go there more often after this.

and as for drinks, we both order air limau+asam. i've never tasted air limau+asam as good as their's before. what i like the most -- they blended the ice. we don't get to see this often. in fact, this was the first time i drank ice blended-air limau+ asam. so sedap until my mouth is full of saliva now (ewww...)! guess what, the drinks only costed us rm2.30 (rm1.30 each).

before we went off, we tapau-ed cucur udang, cucur ubi manis, cucur keladi and all sorts of cucur available there, for my babai, sumbuk, semba and cousin emezia. for that, we spent rm16.00. worth it 'cause we got to taste all different types of cucur. what more to say, they are the best cucur(s) in town.

so sayang i didn't manage to snap any photo of the foods and drinks as we were too busy eating. and yes, we left nothing to snap, except for some ayam bones, empty plates and empty glasses! and as for the tapau, we ate the cucur(s) finished, only at one go. hebat, kan?

to my kuching fellow, try to go there if you haven't. you'll never regret, i tell you. and to those of you who are not from kuching, go there if you happen to visit kuching. it is not far from pasar minggu satok. if you visit kuching and you don't go to pasar minggu satok, you rugi besar. pasar minggu satok is where you can get cheap ikan terubok masin, as cheap as 5 for rm10.00 (small sized-ikan terubok masin). if you're lucky, those abang-abang penjual ikan terubok masin can even give you one (or two) free ikan terubok masin(s). those from sabah or semenanjung or overseas, worry not, for they can help you to pack your ikan terubok masin nicely in a box (siap sedia dengan handle). so, do come to kuching, ok? :)

Akademi Fantasia 7 (Tugasan Minggu Ke-3)

2009-03-24T13:09:00.008+08:00

PELAJAR WANITA
AISHAH - Mata (Noorkumalasari) download
CLAUDIA - Lama Tak Jumpa (Zur Eda)
ISMA - Rambu Ramba (Nursheila Amin)
RINI - Seloka Cinta Remaja (Seha Freedom)
RUBISA - Angan-angan (Raja Ema) download
ZIZI - Ini Rindu (Farid Harja) download

PELAJAR LELAKI
AKIM - Anak Gembala (Sudirman) download
ARIL - Andainya Aku Pergi Dulu (Alleycats) download
HAFIZ - Mat Disko (Sudirman) download
OBRI - Abang Beca (Broery Marantika) download
QHAUD - Pilihlah Aku (Latif Ibrahim) download
SIDI - Hanya di Radio (Headwind) download
YAZID - Pawana (Search) download

HAPPY DOWNLOADING!!! :)

when you're a thalassemia carrier...

2009-03-24T11:43:00.006+08:00

i watched the ulangan of renjis on channel 104. it was so damn lucu. stupid a bit. there was this 1 couple, planned to get married, but the girl suddenly made a decision to minta putus. the reason -- the boy was diagnosed as thalassemia carrier. i was diagnosed with the same thing too. actually there's nothing wrong being a carrier. it doesn't affect me. not at all. i'm healthy, just like any other non-carrier. problem will only occurs if i marry another carrier. have a look at this diagram, this is what i mean...

few words from the doctor who diagnosed me, which i would like to share with my fellow thalassemia carrier. :)
1. before you get married, make sure your spouse do a medical check up.
2. if he/she happens to also be a carrier, don't panic and you don't have to break-up, do a further check-up to determine what thalassemia he/she carries -- alpha or beta.
3. don't you ever, ever give up your love. you still have another option -- adoption!

source:
wikipedia (picture)

moderate drinking good for bones -- SO TRUE!

2009-03-24T01:33:00.006+08:00

i've been way too busy with interviews lately. i hate interview. i hate -- mock lecture. presentation. micro teaching. i simply hate standing and talking in front adults, acting like i'm good or knows everything. what i hate most -- preparing for the day. so many things to do. and think of. shit. all the nervous-ness. and the sleep-less nights. and pimples pop-ing out. double shit. arghhh, for me, interviews are nothing but nightmares! ok, should stop. i'm using way too much "hate"...

p/s:
just one more thing to add -- i hate it even more when i have to go for so many interviews and yet, here i am, still jobless. unemployed. actively attending interviews. HATE!

ok, let me begin with the my next chapter. i got surprised with today's, i mean, yesterday's headline of eastern times. "Moderate drinking good for bones". a research was published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition and the research suggested that people who enjoy a glass or two of wine or beer everyday could be helping to keep their bones strong. no wonder larh i feel so much healthier and fresher and happier each time after having a shot or two of booze with friends. i should make my way to labuan so i can get enough nutrient everyday, for the rest of my life... ♥

personally, i think every office should, at least, have one of this!

mary says...

source:
the eastern times (news)
the internet (pictures)

life's a bitch!

2009-03-14T11:27:00.002+08:00

my God. this life is so cruel, simply so unpredictable. one time, we'll be so healthy, and yet another time, we'll fall so ill. last night, mom received a sms from aunt lilian, regarding the biopsy test result of her bro, ah kuan's father. mom called her immediately, told her to bring ah kuan's father for further check-up, the sooner the better. it would be better if they can bring him today. that time, i haven't know what's happening yet, so i was quite blur-blur. i heard mom mentioning some alien terms and i was like, "what the hell is that?" after they had done talking on the phone, i, as usual, dengan busy-body-nya, asked mom what happened. she refused to tell me and just said, "something bad, like really bad, happened." i insisted to know what's happening. biasa la, kepo ba. it worths being a kepo, as finally, mom revealed everything. she showed me the sms aunt lilian sent her. i don't understand the alien message, so many alien terms. so i asked mom, what's it all about. so mom pun explained la -- what's malignant and what's adenocarcinoma. she explained panjang lebar to me, but me, as an IT person and a buta-biology person, don't really get her 100%. but, at least, i get her point -- doctor diagnosed ah kuan's father with cancer. yes, cancer -- not flu, not fever, not gastric, not magrain, not any other cure-able disease. the cancer cells can be slowed, but still it's a deadly disease. God, why him? what i pity the most is his kids, still so young, still needing a (healthy!) father. please don't do this, please make him as healthy as he was before, God...

Akademi Fantasia 7 (Tugasan Minggu Pertama)

2009-03-13T11:02:00.003+08:00

well, since i am too damn free, i've decided to be ~~sangat~~ baik hati by providing you guys with links of the songs listed below. so, happy ~~birthday~~ downloading! :)

LADIES
#1 adila ♥ di bawah pohon asmara (jaclyn victor)
#2 aishah ♥ dan sebenarnya (yuna) download
#3 claudia ♥ sempurna (andra & the backbone) download
#4 isma ♥ sepi (yuni shara) download
#5 rini ♥ elegi sepi (azharina) download
#6 rubisa ♥ matahariku (agnes monica) download
#7 zizi ♥ molek (elyana) download

GENTLEMEN
#1 akim ♥ hatiku kau luka (alleycats)
#2 aril ♥ rahasia perempuan (ari lasso)
#3 hafiz ♥ lagu kita (aizat) download
#4 obri ♥ jeritan batinku (p. ramlee)
#5 qhaud ♥ phoenix bangkit (m. nasir)
#6 sidi ♥ terima kasih cinta (afgan) download
#7 yazid ♥ penghujung rindu (jamal abdillah)

and oh yeah, before i forget, i now proclaim myself as hardcore disciple of akademi fantasia 7. what? ada salah, ka? i support claudia fay geres, ok? i'm a bidayuh and she's a bidayuh too. racism ka? so what? never see tv ka you? if never, then you should start from tonight onwards. go watch tv3, 8 pm, then you'll get what i mean. you'll see those inspiring politicians. damn inspiring i wanna puke. i can't even stand 5 minutes watching buletin utama. so menyakit jiwa dan raga. i can have a heart attack if i ever watch the whole 1 hour news.

p/s:
kids, say no to racism!

Graphic Designers Are Cute!

2009-03-12T16:13:00.005+08:00

i personally and honestly think that all graphic designers are cute. i worked with 3 graphic designers before, and yes, i think they are cute. their attitudes make them super cute. moosa, gg and victor, if you guys happen to read this, "you guys are super-duper cute!"

and the 4th graphic designer that i found cute is...

photos taken here.

ok ok, i know you're starting to get bored of my lame post. i can feel your pain, worry not. shall stop now. cheers!

all of sudden...

2009-03-11T18:52:00.005+08:00

i feel like starting my own family. hell yeah, i mean it. straight from the bottom of my heart. gila sik? i know it is. tapi, just let it be. maybe it's a sign, a good sign, that i'm maturing. ahahaha. i feel like laughing my heart out larh. ok, ok, i'm not going to get married any time soon. i don't even have a boyfriend yet, but yeah, someday, i know i'll find one. a fun-caring-loving one. i'll let the whole world know if i find one. just pray for me.

(can you guys imagine how i look like now??? i look crazy, because i just can't stop myself from smiling. oh God, what is happening to me???...)

just another crap!

2009-03-11T11:02:00.002+08:00

"if God brings me to it,
He'll bring me through it."
yours truly --

the past few weeks had been the toughest weeks of my life. i've seen my life slowly tearing apart right before me. i should have smell it earlier on. i didn't. such a fool of me, i know. how i wish i could turn back time, and yes, i'll definitely make things smoother. i'll make everything as right as it was supposed to be. but then again, i just can't. i have to swallow the truth that this is what was meant for me. and hell yeah, oh-bla-di-oh-bla-da, life moves on... :)

arghhh!!! benci!!!

2009-03-10T19:08:00.005+08:00

i simply hate it when mom starts saying, "you don't know how it's like to stay/work there. my friend's son/daughter... like this larh... like that larh..." stop comparing me with your friends' son/daughter. they ain't me. i'm me. me, myself and i.

p/s:
sorry god! i'll go and cleanse myself this sunday, okay?
*halleluyah,... halleluyah,... halleluyah*
wakakakah!!!

i found this interesting...

2009-03-10T00:09:00.002+08:00

things guys should know about girls...

♥ don't ever lie to us; we always find out.
♥ we don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.
♥ don't say you understand when you don't.
♥ girls are pretty, but yours is the prettiest!
♥ you don't have PMS; don't act like you know what it's like.
♥ saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.
♥ if you talk about having a big dick; we know you don't.
♥ size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that want relationships.
♥ we don't like it when you act like Mr. Big.
♥ a system in your car only impresses your homeboys, not us.
♥ no matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe.
♥ it's good to be sensitive, sometimes.
♥ if you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize.
♥ be spontaneous; dinner and a movie won't always cut it.
♥ we are self-conscious by nature; we can't help it.
♥ we are drama queens.
♥ fashion police do exist.
♥ don't ask us to give head; if you are nice you just might get it.
♥ we absolutely do not care about monster trucks, car systems, paintball, or anything else you and your friends talk about.
♥ hugs and kisses! must be given at all times.
♥ we don't shave our legs everyday so get over it.
♥ don't make bets about us; we always find out.
♥ shave, no matter how cool you think your goatee or beard or mustache looks, we hate it.
♥ even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body, it is not.
♥ don't compare our breasts with Pamela Anderson's; hers are fake, just remember that. u have a better shot at ours than you ever will with hers.
♥ it is not cool to shoot snot rockets.
♥ we are beautiful at all times.
♥ we will always think we are fat, so humor us and tell us we aren't.
♥ you can shoot hoops, score a goal, knock down big fat guys, and hit a little baseball with a stick, so why the hell can't you piss in the toilet and not on it.
♥ most importantly, we are always right; so don't forget it!

source: the Internet.

ANTM Cycle 12 Episode 2!!! credits to seeyoshirun!!!

2009-03-08T17:58:00.004+08:00

♥ Part 1

♥ Part 2

♥ Part 3

♥ Part 4

♥ Part 5

ANTM Cycle 12 Episode 1!!! credits to seeyoshirun!!!

2009-03-08T13:42:00.006+08:00

- to watch, turn off or put into mute mode the background music. this can be done by scrolling down to the very bottom of this page. you will see a music player -- the cute teddy bear!
- if the view is too small, click on the the very right button of the video. the video will be enlarged.
- to go back to the ordinary size, press Esc button on your keyboard.
- happy watching!

♥ Part 1

♥ Part 2

♥ Part 3

♥ Part 4

♥ Part 5

America's Next Top Model (Cycle 12)

2009-03-08T11:58:00.009+08:00

ANTM is back again, with a brand new cycle. It started on March 4th and this time, out of thousands applicants, 13 contestants were selected to compete towards becoming America's Next Top Model. Do I sounds like Tyra Banks? Gheheheh. I just love it when she says, "Mary (konon-konon larh!), you are still on the run towards becoming America's Next Top Model..."

Ok, ok. Let me just cut down the crap. Here are the 13 contestants (I sorted them according to my preferences!)...

And yeah, by the way, photos are taken from here.

Fo, the black-xican girl.

Allison, the big-scary (that's what they say!)-round-eyed girl.

Celia, the used-to-be-an-ugly-duckling-but-now-a-pretty-swan girl.

Tahlia, the burn-survivor girl.

Aminat, the sexayyy-lip-and-sexayyy-leg girl.

Jessica, the I-am-born-beautiful-so-I-don't-need-to-struggle-to-impress-the-judges girl.

London, the thank-you-Jesus-Christ girl.

Isabella, the first-who-got-eliminated girl.

Nijah, the prom-queen girl.

Kortnie, the sometimes-my temple-wants-cheesecake-and-oh-my-boyfriend-is-someone-famous girl.

Natalie, the oh-so-boring-looking girl.

Teyona, the Tyra-likes-her-look girl.

Sandra, the I-am-not-going-to-make-friends-because-I-am-here-to-win girl.

There's this one girl, Monique, who got herself shortlisted but however, didn't managed to make it to the top 13. She really caught my attention when she made this statement...

"My personal belief is I will never bring a kid into this world 'cause I think the world's going to hell." -- Monique, the shortlisted girl for ANTM Cycle 12.

What a statement! But still, I think like you. Hope to see you in Cycle 13...

BODOH KAH SAYA???

2009-03-07T22:04:00.002+08:00

SAYA TIDAK BODOH KERANA SAYA TAHU BETAPA BERHARGANYA DIRI SAYA JIKA DIBANDINGKAN DENGAN SEBUAH RANCANGAN LAWAK BODOH. YANG SUDAH LAH BODOH, LANSUNG TAK MASUK AKAL DAN APA LAH SANGAT RANCANGAN ITU, BUKAN MEMBAWA FAEDAH PUN. MALAH, MEMBUATKAN PENONTONNYA BERTAMBAH BODOH. BODOH SOMBONG. APA YANG PALING TIDAK BOLEH DITERIMA AKAL ADALAH SETELAH MENONTON RANCANGAN TERSEBUT, PENONTON DENGAN BERANINYA INGIN MENGAJAR SAYA SESUATU TENTANG KEHIDUPAN. WAH, BERANI SUNGGUH ANDA MENCABAR SAYA. SAYA TABIK SPRING. SUDAH LAH. TIDAK PERLU LAGI MENEGAKKAN BENANG YANG SUDAH BASAH. BUANG MASA SAHAJA. ANDA SUDAH TUA, PANDAI-PANDAI LAH MENILAI APA YANG LEBIH PENTING. OH YA, SEBELUM SAYA TERLUPA, SAYA TIDAK AKAN PERNAH MENYALAHKAN DIRI SAYA SENDIRI. KERANA DIRI-KU BEGITU BERHARGA.

P/S:
SAYA TIDAK PERNAH PAKSA ORANG UNTUK SUKA ATAU TERIMA SAYA. SAYA ADALAH SAYA. KALAU SUKA, SUKA LA. KALAU TAK SUKA, PERGI!

"TAKE IT, OR LEAVE IT... THAT EASY..."

a nice quote to share...

2009-03-06T17:59:00.007+08:00

"the lamps are different,

but the light is the same..."
quoted from GUBRA --

lamp comes in different shapes and sizes. colors and brands. there are thousands, in fact, millions different kind of lamp that have been invented throughout the world. despite of the differences, lamps share one common entity -- they shine, and lighten the darkness.

human being is the most complex animal that has been created by god. scientifically proven. god gives human being brain to think carefully, and to make wise decision. i'm pretty sure that god gives us brain so that we can see "lamp" as "a source of light". not seeing or judging "lamp" by it's differences. you get me? it's alright if you don't.

Lee Min-ho, Saranghae!!!

2009-03-04T19:53:00.003+08:00

what would you do,
if he suddenly appears at your doorstep,
like this...

-- yours truly --
if me,
i'll faint!!!

he's a hunk, ain't he?

to a friend...

2009-03-03T11:36:00.004+08:00

"i know that it'll never gonna last forever,
but i'll keep on trying..."
posted by a friend on 2009-03-03 --

dear you,

reality hurts, everyone knows. that's what life is, not much can be done but to just deal with it. yes, no one ever told you what life feels or looks like. no one ever told me, either. for life is so full of the expected and the un-expected. one minute you'll be like i-got-it-all and the next minute you'll be like-wise. nothing last forever. nothing. there's a verse in Ecclesiastes that say there is an appointed time for everything.

"A time to give birth and a time to die;
A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.
A time to kill and a time to heal;
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to weep and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn and a time to dance.
A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.
A time to search and a time to give up as lost;
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear apart and a time to sew together;
A time to be silent and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate;
A time for war and a time for peace."

you may not get what you want now. but somehow, if it's meant for you, it'll come to you, sooner or later. and by then, no one will ever take it away from you. i love the fact that you hold on, rather than letting go. 'cause if i were you, i'll do just the same.

♥,
yours truly.

some people are just too self-centered!

2009-03-02T17:29:00.002+08:00

i was chatting with abang samat when he suddenly went missing. i thought he rushed back home as it was already 5 pm. i was wrong. something happened to his motorcycle. someone knocked down his motorcycle and the motorcycle felt on another car parked next to his motorcycle. the incident occured at around 3 pm and the news only came to him at about 4:30 pm. this is because the owner of the car works at the building nearby (Wisma Zecon) and he/she doesn't know that the motorcycle belongs to abang samat. kesian abang samat! jahat betul that person who langgar lari abang samat's motorcycle!why not he/she just admit his/her wrong? why must he/she leave his/her dirt or mess unto someone's else hand? no body may be watching the incident and yes, he/she might be happy that no one knows. but somehow, God watched the whole thing and He knows who did it. whoever did that, your mark has been deducted by God!

my, Oh my...

2009-02-28T22:14:00.002+08:00

...Pringles Cheddar Cheese
is so seductive!!!

*yummy-licious*

hrmmm, i'm thinking of...

2009-02-27T17:37:00.009+08:00

..."chopping off" my long hair!!!

and therefore, i've done some research on celebrities with short hair. of course larh before making my final decision, i have to go through thorough research so i won't have any regret in the future. and at least, if anything go wrong with the new hair, i'll smile to myself, saying, "never-mind, you still look more or less like katie holmes/halle berry/paris hilton/victoria beckham/rihanna/sharifah amani*"

* which-ever is applicable.

so, these are the hair-styles that i (think!) i like...

1. katie holmes

despite the fact that she is now mrs. cruise, she is still pretty and young as ever. look, her hair suits her well!

2. halle berry

no one can deny how superbly-hot she is in short hair. i've seen her in different types of hair, but i must admit, halle berry and short hair is a very good combination!

3. paris hilton

if i could, i want to spend a day as ms. paris hilton! this hot blonde looks perfectly-gorgeous in short hair, ain't she?

4. victoria beckham

everyone knows the fact that mrs. beckham has a very high sense of fashion. and she never made any mistake in hair-styling too!

5. rihanna

next, is ms. rihanna, who got abused by mr. chris brown. she changes her hair-style quite frequently. and everytime she did so, she got even hotter and hotter than ever. fans all over the world are dying to have hair-style like hers. she's not just a normal celebrity, she's a fashion statement!

6. sharifah amani

amani surprised everyone when she shaved her head bald for the film muallaf. but sadly, the film was not allowed to be screened here in malaysia. anyway, she's cute with short hair. long live amani!

-- Just-A-Point-To-Ponder! --
the religious-thingy has got worsen day by day, here in malaysia. everyone is like memperjuangkan their own religion. what is happening to us? aren't we suppose to berjuang for malaysia, as a whole. if our bapa perpaduan is still alive, he must be very, very sad to see this kind of situation happening in our country. owh, come on, malaysians! why not we just put a stop to this. let us live together, happily ever after.
(i don't know why, but i suddenly have this patriotic feeling in me lately. is it because of the spa exam i sat for last week? it's been a week, but am i still in the mood? this is so freakingly strange!!!)

Heart - Alone.mp3

2009-02-27T09:36:00.004+08:00

Remember this girl?
She's Allison Iraheta from American Idol (Season 8).
Cute, ain't she?
Gifted with a great voice, this girl is only 16.
Paula Abdul pictures her as the next Kelly Clarkson.

Download Heart - Alone.mp3 here.

The lyric:
I hear the ticking of the clock
I'm lying here, the room's pitch dark
I wonder where you are tonight
No answer on the telephone
And the night goes by so very slow
Oh I hope that it won't end though
Alone

Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone

You don't know how long I have wanted
to touch your lips and hold you tight
You don't know how long I have waited
and I was going to tell you tonight
But the secret is still my own
and my love for you is still unknown
Alone

Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone
Alone
Alone

the 6th!

2009-02-26T12:52:00.004+08:00

rules & regulations:
♥ open the 6th picture folder on your computer.
♥ open the 6th photo and upload to your blog.
♥ write something about it.
♥ then, tag 6 more people to do the same.

the picture:

ok, the 6th picture folder on my external hard disk (i don't have any picture in my computer, sorry!) is a folder i named as "cuti raya 2007". obviously, those pictures i have in there are taken way back in 2007. most of my campus-mates were back in their hometown, especially those celebrating raya. we were among three that were left behind -- me, noreen and vanesh. no money to balik kampung. pity us a lot! nevertheless, we had fun. yeah, lotsa fun. we went to ujana kewangan (the biggest and the best-est shopping complex in labuan, sorry labuanese!) almost everyday. the picture above is dedicated to my fellow labuanese -- i just want to prove to you guys how much i *heart* ujana kewangan. i was on my way to ujana kewangan that time. see that modelly-pose of mine and noreen's -- we just can't get enough of ujana kewangan. luv-luv, muahx-muahx. long live ujana kewangan. yeeehaaa! and oh yeah, i almost forgotten, the picture was taken by vanesh using noreen's sony erricson k510i camera handphone. thanks a bunch, miss vanesh! and yeah, one more thing, thanks a lot to pak cik drebar who was so kind to provide us transportation to ujana kewangan. so kind you know, cuti raya also drive to umskal. if without him, surely the three of us will be starving to death. cafe is always close during cuti ~~sekolah~~ universiti. what more to say the cafe beside the beach. pak cik, if you happen to read this, i just wanna say, we *heart* you so much!

who i want to tag?
♥ encik angenzzz;

♥ whoever who is free enough to do this tag.

Single,... and Unemployed! Dammit!

2009-02-26T10:02:00.004+08:00

Question of the day:
What is the best thing
than can ever happen
to a person?

Download in Progress!

2009-02-25T16:02:00.004+08:00

i have a new addict.
a bad one, i guess.
the world is so against this but me -- i just love to download movie!
i, currently, am waiting (patiently! lalala~) for my 16 movies to be fully-downloaded.

everything's changing. so fast.

2009-02-23T11:09:00.004+08:00

today, i'm 22 years 5 months 23 years old. next year, i'll be 23 years old. the following year, i'll be 24 years old. and there'll be a time when i'll reach my palak 3 (that's how we sarawakians called it!). palak 3 means that i'll be hitting (or entering!) my tahun ke-30-an. that's so old. i don't want to be old knowing the fact that i appear older than my age. hell yeah, everyone is like saying that to me. ewww! i hate it so...

ok, ok, let's move on. let's just be straight to the point. i'm kinda depressed with my life lately. it depresses me even more that no organization in Kuching, Sarawak, Malaysia wants to employ me. arghhh! i'm totally depressed!

ok larh! that's all. i, myself is also blur-blur -- don't get what i'm trying to stressed-out here!
*hit head on the wall. hardly. banggg!*

An assignment given by WiWin

2009-02-22T18:33:00.007+08:00

Rules!

♥ They have to be real... Nothing made up!

♥ If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use (...i got it incomplete... ...maybe someone could just provide us with the complete on... ...thank you...)

♥ You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.
♥ Tag 5 more friends to do it...

The Initial - M for Mayrielicious (ok, ok, M for Mary!)
1. What is your name? : Mary Melissa ~~anak~~ Michael.
2. A four Letter Word. : Milk.
3. A boy's Name. : Marco.
4. A girl's Name. : Maybelle.
5. An occupation. : Mistress.
6. A color. : Magenta.
7. Something you'll wear. : Maternity-dress.
8. A food. : Moon-cake.
9. Something found in the bathroom. : Milk-bath-body-shampoo.
10. A place. : Malaysia.
11. A reason for being late. : Moody.
12. Something you'd shout. : My-God.
13. A movie title. : Music-and-Lyrics.
14. Something you drink. : Milk-shake.
15. A musical group. : Maroon5.
16. An animal. : Monkey.
17. A street name. : Matang-Road?
18. A type of car. : Mercedes.
19. The title of a song. : Mandy.

Who's next?
♥ Everyone is warmly-welcomed!

2008 cute's blogger award from cik eli, cik tina and encik angenzzz... tenkiu, tenkiu. saya tahu saya (memang!) cute...

2009-02-18T21:02:00.019+08:00

Tag 2:

Rules & Regulations:

♥ Copy the "2008 Cute's 3blogger Award" badge into your blog.

♥ Link the award back to the tagger.

♥ Every blogger must state 10 hobbies/facts about him/her before tagging others.
♥ 10 bloggers must be chosen to receive the award and their names must be stated.

♥ Leave a comment to those you're tagging letting them know that they have been tagged.

10 Ugly Truth About Me:

♥ 1# saya cute. mungkin anda menganggap saya mengangkat bakul sendiri, tetapi hakikatnya, bukan saya seorang yang kata begitu. ini telah dibuktikan (dan diakui!) sendiri oleh cik eli, cik tina dan encik angenzzz. sebab itu mereka menganugerahkan saya award ini. betul kan saya (memang!) cute, cik eli, cik tina dan encik angenzzz?

♥ 2# semasa tahun yang ke-3 pengajian saya di umskal, saya pernah turun ke kuliah dengan keadaan belum (atau tidak!) mandi. bukan apa saya tidak mandi, tetapi saya terlewat bangun. bukan salah saya, tapi salah mata saya yang berat, tidak mahu bangun. ketika saya sedar, jam memang sudah menunjukkan lebih jam 8 pagi. saya tidak terus gabra, malah dengan gembiranya dan senyuman yang terukir di bibir, saya berkata dalam hati, "tidur lah. tidak mengapa. bukan selalu pun. en. goh say leng pasti memaafkan mu." apa lagi, tanpa berfikir panjang, saya pun kembali lah ke dream land saya. tiba-tiba, henpon saya berbunyi (atau menyanyi!). saya pun pantas mengambil henpon saya, bukan untuk membaca sms, tetapi untuk di-silent-kan agar tidak menganggu masa tidur saya. tetapi saya tetap membaca sms yang dikirimkan kepada saya, dan ia adalah daripada coursemate saya. katanya, "datang cepat. en. goh say leng cakap kalau tak datang kuliah tak boleh sit for final exam." lebih kurang begitu lah sms nya kepada saya. mula-mulanya, saya amat berat hati juga untuk menghadiri kuliah en. goh say leng. tapi risau juga kalau tidak dibenarkan sit for final exam. hati (dan jiwa, dan raga!) saya semakin risau setelah menerima beberapa sms daripada coursemate yang lain, berkenaan benda yang sama. saya tidak tahu apa yang patut saya lakukan, kalau saya mandi, ambil masa lebih kurang 1 jam, dan saya yakin pada masa itu, kuliah pasti sudah selesai. dan akhirnya, saya membuat keputusan untuk menghadiri kuliah en. goh say leng, tanpa mandi. saya just sempat gosok gigi dan mencuci muka. dan untung ada 2-ways-foundation, saya sempat menyorokkan jerawat-jerawat yang ada di muka saya. segala benda yang boleh mengeluarkan wangian-wangian, saya curahkan ke atas badan saya agar tidak terlampau obvious saya belum mandi. dan lebih kurang 5 minit sebelum kelas en. goh say leng tamat, saya membuka pintu bilik kuliah tanpa segan-silu (sebenarnya dalam hati, bukan main malu lagi!). 5 minit saja saya duduk dalam dewan kuliah dan tidak ada apa-apa ilmu yang saya dapat untuk hari itu. sekian, terima kasih.

♥ 3# semasa di tahun ke-2 pula, saya pernah tersalah masuk kereta orang 2 lelaki cina. begini ceritanya, saya telah diajak keluar oleh seorang kawan. pada mulanya, saya refuse untuk keluar kerana hari itu saya kepenatan. tetapi, untuk tidak mengecewakan ajakan kawan saya itu, saya pun bersetuju. on the way untuk berjumpa kawan saya, henpon saya berbunyi menandakan ada sms yang masuk. saya pun ber-sms lah. saya memang jenis yang cepat leka, saya akui. disebabkan terlampau leka, saya tidak menyedari yang saya telah tersalah masuk kereta. dengan tahap confident yang amat tinggi, saya sesuka hati saya telah membuka pintu tempat duduk belakang, terus duduk, dan kemudiannya terus menutup pintu. saya lansung tak rasa apa-apa pada ketika itu kerana apa yang saya ingin lakukan adalah untuk me-reply sms. lagipun sms itu adalah berkenaan sesuatu yang agak penting juga. dalam saya sibuk me-reply, saya macam sedar juga yang 2 orang lelaki tersebut asyik memandang saya. tapi saya buat tak kisah saja. ada juga terlintas dalam kepala saya kenapa ada seorang lagi dalam kereta ini, padahal yang sepatutnya keluar adalah saya dan kawan saya sahaja. tapi biar la, tak kisah! saya tetap busy dengan sms saya. tiba-tiba, seorang daripada mereka bersuara, "erm, you're in the wrong car." masa itu baru lah saya mengalihkan pandangan saya daripada henpon (biarpun saya belum habis me-reply sms!). baru lah saya sedar yang mereka bukan lah kawan saya dan saya lansung tidak mengenali mereka. saya cepat-cepat berkata "sorry!" kepada mereka dan terus keluar dari kereta tersebut. saya berasa amat-amat (sungguh-sungguh!) malu pada ketika itu. betul-betul (sangat!) malu sampai saya rasa saya tidak sanggup untuk menghadapi dunia. (memang!) padan lah dengan muka saya, kan? siapa suruh kusyuk sangat ber-sms. kalau kusyuk sangat mengulangkaji pelajaran tidak mengapa juga.

♥ 4# saya seorang yang kuat menangis. saya ingat lagi semasa di kolej matrikulasi labuan, masa tu memang gila movie korea. ada satu malam, saya bersama roomates saya, ann dan ckyn menonton windstruck. cerita tu memang sedih. sampai ckyn yang jarang nangis pun turut lah menitiskan air mata. lebih-lebih lagi part pelakon lelaki itu mati ditembak. sedih sangat. memang normal lah kalau perempuan menangis time tengok movie, tetapi saya ini lain sedikit, menangis ter-over-over. sampai movie tu habis pun saya masih lagi menangis. kalau sekejap saja tidak lah mengapa, tapi sampai berjam-jam movie itu habis pun saya masih menangis. sampaikan ann dan ckyn terpaksa memujuk saya sambil duduk di atas katil saya (sebab saya suka menangis sambil menutup muka dengan bantal!). kesian sungguh mereka, kan? mungkin mereka rasa bersalah kerana mengajak saya menonton movie tersebut sehingga mengakibatkan saya tekanan emosi. hrmmm, kesian banget deh loe.

♥ 5# saya sangat sayangkan bantal-bantal ~~busuk~~ wangi saya. mana ada bantal-bantal saya busuk. wangi lah. emak saya cakap busuk, tapi saya langsung tidak merasakan bantal-bantal saya busuk. emak saya cakap lagi, kalau dia tikam bantal-bantal saya masuk ke dalam sungai sarawak/sungai rajang pasti buaya-buaya dan ikan-ikan akan mati dan timbul di atas permukaan air. saya tahu dia cakap begitu sebab dia cemburu. dia tidak ada bantal busuk. emak dan nenek saya selalu juga bertanya kepada saya, "kalau sudah berkahwin, bantal-bantal itu dibawa sekali ke?" tanpa segan-silu, saya kata, "ya. apa salahnya?" kepada lelaki di luar sana yang rasa hendak meminang saya (ada ke? ehehe.), you are so lucky, anda tidak hanya akan mendapat saya, anda juga akan mendapat bantal-bantal saya. wow, untungnya anda! jadi terima lah kami seadanya.

♥ 6# saya kuat bercakap. sangat kuat harimau, sebab saya memang dilahirkan dalam tahun harimau. disebabkan saya kuat bercakap, banyak lah juga padah yang saya terima. dulu-dulu time sekolah rendah, terutama sekali time darjah 1, darjah 2, kalau time cikgu hendak keluar dari kelas untuk ke bilik guru, cikgu tersebut akan mengarahkan ketua kelas untuk berdiri di hadapan kelas dan jika sesiapa didapati bercakap atau membuat bising, si ketua kelas tadi akan mencatatkan nama si pesalah di papan hitam. memang (amat-amat!) jarang sekali nama saya tidak ditulis. saya sedar saya memang banyak mulut. hukuman yang selalu diterima adalah padam papan hitam, buang sampah, dan sebagainya. kesian saya. pernah juga satu ketika semasa saya dalam darjah 4, saya dihukum berdiri atas meja sepanjang kelas en. vellu (beliau sudah meninggal dunia!). biarpun sudah dihukum, saya tetap bercakap-cakap dengan rakan-rakan lain yang duduk. akibatnya, saya telah ditikam dengan kapur. kesian saya. bukan hanya itu, semasa di tingkatan 2, saya pernah dihukum naik ke pentas semasa perhimpunan. pada masa itu, saya rasa sungguh popular sekali. saya masih sempat ber-signal-signal dengan rakan-rakan yang berada di bawah pentas. begitu lah saya semasa kecil. memang muka tembok. nasib baik lah saya sudah berubah sekarang. menjadi seorang yang lebih pemalu (dan ayu!). ayu ke? ehehe. hari yang paling saya tidak gemari semasa di sekolah adalah hari ramah-tamah ibu-bapa, kerana saya seringkali di-complain sebagai talkative. and yeah, setiap kali itu lah saya akan dimarahi di rumah. kononnya di sekolah tempat belajar, bukan tempat bercakap. betul ke?

♥ 7# saya memang kuat makan. kalau dulu-dulu time camping, beg saya lah yang paling besar, bukan banyak pakaian, tapi banyak makanan. sebenarnya, dulu-dulu masa darjah 1, saya tidak kuat makan, malah semasa saya di darjah 1, berat badan saya hanya lah 18 kg. slim kan saya ktika itu? disebabkan emak saya tidak suka saya slim, dia telah sumbatkan saya dengan bermacam-macam ubat cacing serta vitamin, dan saya rumuskan bahawa tabiat kuat makan saya ini saya perolehi daripada situ lah. saya mula kuat makan semenjak berada di sekolah menengah. masa itu, saya memang risau sangat. sebab, maklum lah, masa itu kesedaran tentang pentingnya memiliki badan yang ramping macam posh spice girls telah mula muncul dalam diri saya. emak saya pula, sebaliknya nampak sungguh gembira dengan perubahan tabiat pemakanan saya. ada satu ketika itu, dia dengan gembiranya menhantar burger-burger kfc kepada saya semasa saya mengikuti perkhemahan pandu puteri. pelik kan emak saya? sepatutnya saya mempelajari tentang kehidupan berdikari di dalam hutan, tetapi emak saya telah menyedarkan saya bahawa, walau di mana kita berada, kita tetap boleh makan makanan kfc. disebabkan kejadian-kejadian ini lah badan saya sekarang menjadi sangat gebu. saya menyalahkan emak saya dan vitamin-vitaminnya di atas ke-gebu-an badan yang saya miliki sekarang. sesungguhnya, emak saya dan vitamin-vitaminnya memang ada kesan sampingan -- kuat makan dan ke-gebu-an.

♥ 8# saya sekarang adalah seorang pengganggur yang berjaya. kalau ada kerja kosong, inform lah kepada saya. kerja bibik di rumah anda pun saya sanggup asalkan basic gaji saya rm1500. ada allowance. keja 5 hari seminggu. jam 8 pagi - 5 petang. sabtu, ahad hari berehat sedunia. isnin - jumaat, jam 2:30 - 3:30 petang saya mesti menonton jelita. dan ada syarat-syarat lain yang mungkin saya tambahkan dari semasa ke semasa. sekian terima kasih. sebarang pertanyaan boleh diajukan dalam tagboard saya yang berada di sebelah kanan.

♥ 9# petang tadi saya ke market untuk membeli barangan dapur. first time tau. nampak gayanya saya memang ada bakat untuk menjadi seorang isteri yang baik. baik ke?

♥ 10# semenjak dua menjak ini, kegilaan terbaru saya adalah tag. saya suka di-tang dan juga suka men-tag. jadi kawan-kawan, mari lah kita saling tag-men-tag.

Mangsa-mangsa seterusnya:
♥ 1# Ida
♥ 2# WeWin
♥ 3#
♥ 4#
♥ 5#
♥ 6#
♥ 7#
♥ 8#
♥ 9#
♥ 10#

saya telah di-"tag" oleh cik eli!!! wink wink

2009-02-18T18:26:00.010+08:00

♥ Tag 1: Seksi.

♥ Syarat-syarat:
1. Tangkap atau sertakan 3 keping gambar anda yang anda rasakan paling seksi.
2. Tak semestinya tak berpakaian atau mendedahkan.
Mungkin anda rasa senyuman anda masa itu adalah seksi.
Sertakan!
3. Nyatakan kenapa gambar itu begitu seksi di mata anda?
4. Tag 5 rakan-rakan anda yang seksi.
5. Selamat berseksi...

♥ Kesimpulan:

- dalam gambar:
saya (yang seksi!), noreen dan vanesh.
- jurugambar yang baik hati:
encik azri umskal.
- gambar diambil bersempena:
Indian Cultural Nite 2008.
- sari saya hasil sponsor:
kakak vanesh. tenkiu, akka!
- harapan:
gambar ini akan dipamerkan di dalam podium umskal agar adik-adik junior tahu yang mereka memiliki seorang (bekas!) kakak senior yang seksi (macam saya!).
- kenapa saya rasa saya (sangat!) seksi?:
lihat lah sendiri gambar di atas. saya (sangat!) seksi kan? (kata "YA!". bagi la peluang saya rasa ~~(sangat!)~~ seksi sikit.)

- dalam gambar:
kak mas, diana dan saya (yang memang seksi!).
- jurugambar yang baik hati:
tan poh ling. ku merindui mu. sungguh.
- gambar diambil bersempena:
tidak ada apa-apa. kami memang suka ber-"possing".
- baju saya (yang cantik!) hasil rekaan:
mui mui fashion.
- harapan:
ada ajen-ajen pencarian model yang terpikat dengan gambar di atas dan seterusnya mengambil saya sebagai salah seorang modelnya. kenapa? apa kurangnya saya? saya rasa saya ada bakat untuk menjadi seorang model yang "ngetop deh" bak kata jiran-jiran kita di negara seberang.
- kenapa saya rasa saya (sangat!) seksi?:
pandang lah dan lihat lah. saya nampak macam model untuk majalah fesyen (edisi hari raya aidilfitri!). betul kan saya (sangat!) seksi kan? (sekali lagi, kata "YA!". bagi la peluang saya rasa ~~(sangat-sangat!)~~ seksi sikit.)

- dalam gambar:
saya (yang teramat seksi!) dan noreen.
- jurugambar yang baik hati:
tiada jurugambar yang terlibat. nasib baik henpon murah saya ada self-timer, jadi kami menggunakan dengan sebaik-baiknya kemudahan yang ada.
- gambar diambil bersempena:
saja-saja. tidak ada "special occasion". oh ya, gambar ini diambil sebaik sahaja kami bangun tidur dan lihat lah, jam telah menunjukkan pukul 11:03 pagi. kami memang hebat, kan? memang selesa kalau sekali tidur di tiara hotel, labuan. tambahan pula di-"sponsor" oleh ~~bro~~ abang amar.
- baju saya ~~rekaan~~ jenama:
baju jenama nicole (tak mahal, murah saja!) dan seluar tidak berjenama.
- harapan:
tidak menaruh harapan yang tinggi. mudah-mudahan kalau saya ada peluang untuk datang ke labuan, ~~bro~~ abang amar akan "sponsor" tinggal di tiara hotel lagi. saya nak pergi "swimming".
- kenapa saya rasa saya (sangat!) seksi?:
saya rasa seksi sebab walaupun saya baru bangun tidur dan belum mandi lagi. saya tetap ambil gambar dan saya berani untuk menge-"post"-nya di blog ini. saya juga tidak ber-"makeup" pada masa itu. walaubagaimanapun, saya (tetap!) seksi, kan. tenkiu, tenkiu.

♥ Mangsa-mangsa seterusnya:
1. Fara
2. Is
3. Sharon
4. Tina
5. Zek

♥ Disclaimer: Semua di atas adalah gurauan semata-mata dan tidak ada kaitan sama ada yang masih hidup mahupun yang telah mati. Sekian, terima kasih. Cik Eli, terima kasih kerana meng-"tag" saya. Lain kali tag lagi...

indonesian music vs malaysian music!

2009-02-17T10:17:00.004+08:00

spend a minute or two to download the song below (there's a link down there, if you don't notice!). it worth your time, trust me. a very nice melody with a deep lyric. everything just blend so well. and that's what we call the indonesian music. i can consider myself as a big fan of indonesian music. i don't labeled malaysian music as "not good", but yeah, to be honest, there's a lot (i mean, A LOT!) of room towards improvement. i mean it. sorry, please don't ISA me. SAYA SAYANG MALAYSIA! muahx. =)

Selimut Hati...

2009-02-17T09:51:00.003+08:00

♥ Selimut Hati by Dewa 19 ♥

Aku kan menjadi malam-malam mu,
Kan menjadi mimpi-mimpi mu,
Dan selimuti hati mu... yang beku,
Aku kan menjadi bintang-bintang mu,
Kan slalu menyinari mu,
Dan menghapus rasa rindu mu... yang pilu.

Aku bisa untuk menjadi apa yang kau minta,
Untuk menjadi apa yang kau impikan,
Tapi ku tak bisa menjadi dirinya.

Aku kan menjadi embun pagi mu... yang kan menyejukkan jiwa mu,
Dan kan membasuh hati mu... yang layu.

Tinggalkan sejenak lalu mu,
Beri s'dikit waktu,
Kepada ku... tuk meyakinkan mu.

download this song?

...

2009-02-16T20:48:00.002+08:00

...i don't want to sounds so emo. but yeah, i have to! well, i got "news" from a good friend of mine who is now posting in miri. the "news" -- not a good one, yet not a bad one too. i wanted (so bad!) to share it with someone. sometimes, even if the "news" isn't that important or worthy, but if it's shared among family or friends or love ones, it can worth more that any richness in the world. yeah, it's very true. but, then again, sometimes, the person you wish to talk to wouldn't be there. maybe something else more important came up so suddenly. hell yeah, it's unfair. but, that's life. deal with it. and it happened to me. it's unfair to me. but, then again, he/she has his/her own reason. never mind! but, AKU KECIK ATI. KECIK ATI SANGAT. am i too worth-less? how much do i valued to you? ok-ok, never mind larh -- i was just crapping. don't take it too seriously.

...

2009-02-16T20:42:00.002+08:00

...i was so excited for "it". it never happens. it never even arrives.

...

2009-02-16T20:41:00.000+08:00

...it hurts so badly.

confessions of a broken heart...

2009-02-15T19:11:00.004+08:00

If you could make your lips bigger, would you?

♥ no larh. the one i have now is ok already.

Let's say you are locked in a room with your most recent ex for 24 hours?

♥ oh-no! that's the very last thing i wish to happen. only if i ever wish for that. touch-wood, touch-wood.

What were you doing at midnight last night?

♥ YM-ing with friends.

Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?

♥ never.

Is there one person that can always make you smile?

♥ still looking for someone who will never fail to make me smile, through thick and thin.

What are you listening to right now?

♥ neyo's miss independent. darn crazy over this song. i love you, neyo!

Have you kissed someone in the past five days?

♥ no.

When is your birthday?

♥ august, 31. i repeat, august, 31. start preparing your presents from now onwards. thank you.

How's your heart lately?

♥ great. still pumping. gheheh.

Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?

♥ alone.

Will next friday be a good one?

♥ God's willing. everything will be just fine.

When was the last time something REALLY bothered you?

♥ don't remember.

When was the last time you got a haircut?

♥ last year.

Have you ever lived with a girlfriend/boyfriend?

♥ never.

Have you ever had your heart broken?

♥ who doesn't? even though the wound healed, but the scars remain.

Do you want children?

♥ ya larh!

Would you consider adoption?

♥ yeah. if i have to.

Do you believe that you can change someone?

♥ no. not yet. need to get myself "well-equipped" before i could change someone else.

Have you ever wished you could've had someone but you couldn't?

♥ oh-yes, yes, YES! but never mind, i believe God has someone better for me.

Have you ever broken a heart?

♥ have i? if yes, i'm so sorry. i never meant to. i want you to know that it's not something i'm happy or proud of.

Is there a reason for your Friendster Song?

♥ once my favorite song.

Do you look more like your mom or your dad?

♥ uh-uh! i don't wanna answer this!

Do you like movie nights?

♥ erm, so-so.

What are you looking forward to?

♥ sharon's baby born-day. i'm, soon, going to be an aunty. weee.

Are you happier single or in a relationship?

♥ both has it's own pros and cons, thus, me loving both. weee.

If alcohol were banned, what would your reaction be?

♥ "why is dattt???". that would be my first reaction, eh-hem, well, yesterday. but prom nightmares i watch this afternoon really scares me. ecstasy kills you know. it causes brain-death. ouchhh! i know, i know, ecstasy is not alcohol. but scary and also a pat on the shoulder you know that prom nightmares show.

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?

♥ buat bodo.

Have you ever peed for someone so they would pass a drug test?

♥ never larh.

Where did you get the shirts you are wearing?

♥ mom beli for me.

Does anything on your body hurt?

♥ my face. got pimple. ouchhh!

Are you afraid of falling in love?

♥ answered this before. used to. erm, sometimes it make it's "coming-back". and i hate it so much when it does.

Have you ever seen the last person you texted naked?

♥ i bathed with her last, last new year's eve. not naked, ok?

Will tomorrow be better than today?

♥ God's willing -- it'll!

tick, tock, tick, tock...

2009-02-13T14:57:00.002+08:00

few more hours and it's vday...
here goes to everyone...

urghhh!

2009-02-12T21:21:00.001+08:00

why
is
it
so
hard
for
you
to
understand?

WHY???

m, m & m -- the initial game.

2009-02-12T10:52:00.008+08:00

♥ your name -- mary melissa michael. oh yeah, triple m.

♥ a four letter word -- milk. drinking milk everyday can prevent from osteoporosis.

♥ a boy's name -- mika. unique. name reserved!

♥ a girl's name -- mia. short and simple. yet sweet. name reserved!

♥ an occupation -- manager. mother. is mother really an occupation?

♥ a color -- maroon. madam stella's favorite color.

♥ something you'll wear -- miniskirt. i like.

♥ a type of food -- maki-zushi. it's a type of sushi.

♥ something found in the bathroom -- milk bath body shampoo.

♥ a place -- mauritius. someone please bring me there.

♥ a reason for being late --malas! ahahaha, no idea lar.

♥ something you'd shout -- mother-f*cker! sorry, i was just answering to this.

♥ a movie title -- madagascar. cute-ness!

♥ something you drink -- milo. yummy-ness!

♥ a musical group -- maroon5. this love, bla, bla, bla...

♥ an animal -- monkey. gheheh.

♥ a street name -- mary's street. i wish.

♥ a type of car -- mercedes. i want one.

♥ the title of a song -- miss independent. i love you to bits, neyo!

i envy them!!!

2009-02-10T21:21:00.002+08:00

Lindsay Lohan.
(pic taken here)

Britney Spears.
(pic taken here)

The both look drop dead gorgeous, even in specs!!!
I envy them so much!!!
I want to be just like them!!!

2009-02-10

2009-02-10T20:22:00.004+08:00

What's the color of your shirt?

♥ grey-ish.

Are you wearing specs currently?

♥ yup and yeah, i'm blind.

Are you doing two things at one time now?

♥ more than two.

Do you know of anyone who likes you right now?

♥ unsure. i hope someone does because if there's none, i'll be real sad. it's almost valentine, man.

Do you love the person who last gave you a message?

♥ who was it, ar? who cares -- mary loves everybody!

Is anyone in your family pregnant?

♥ no.

At what age do you want to be married?

♥ 30. too much things to learn, yet too little time i have. haish.

Are you listening to any songs?

♥ currently not. but currently loving neyo's miss independent. love love.

Who last gave you a hug?

♥ the puppies.

If a certain person went to your room, what will they see?

♥ mess, mess and mess. thank you.

What will you be sleeping with?

♥ my favorite bantal busuk. so what?

What's the colour of your room ?

♥ cream-ish.

What did you do last few minutes?

♥ mandi.

When did you last play like a child?

♥ when ar? erm, i guess it was 1 week ago.

Who have you featured in your friendster?

♥ no one.

Have your featured friends gone to your home before?

♥ who?

Are you looking forward to any activities today?

♥ ntah lar.

Have you bathed?

♥ yes.

Would you ever tell a certain person you like the person?
♥ yeah. maybe.

What's your plan for your next birthday ?

♥ meraikan bersama orang-orang yang tersayang.

Who's birthday was just over?

♥ zul's and ika's.

Who's birthday is coming up?

♥ adzmar's.

When's your birthday?

♥ august 31.

Are you wearing any nail polish right now?

♥ yup. on my toes.

Who's at home?

♥ all excluding mom. she's in the hospital. hope she'll be fine real soon.

Ever had sex on the first date?

♥ no. not that cheap.

What's on the table nearest to you?

♥ lots.

Who are you looking at?

♥ no one.

Do you still sleep with your bears?

♥ no.

Still keep your barbie dolls?
♥ i used to have only 1 barbie doll and i have no idea where it went to now.

happy valentine's day, everybody!!!

2009-02-10T07:57:00.004+08:00

valentine's almost here. would like to wish everybody a happy,
happy blessed valentine's day.

p/s:-
i know this post is kinda lame.
got nothing to blog.
life's pathetic!

Quote.

2009-02-05T23:43:00.003+08:00

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

♥ Neil Gaiman ♥

untitled!

2009-02-05T23:17:00.004+08:00

i pity myself so much.
seriously i do.
like everyone else,
i need a shoulder to cry on.
but why,
why i hardly find any "shoulder"?

--point to ponder--
all i can see now is plainly black and white.
i need my red, yellow and blue back. and yes, green too!

Snoop Dogg, can you please adopt me? Please...

2009-02-03T21:40:00.002+08:00

Currently crazy over Snoop Dogg's Father Hood aired on Channel 712. I want him! I want him! I want him! Adopt me please, Snoop Dogg. I promise to be your good daughter. Please! Please! Please!

visit here

"hadiah" untuk orang nakal.

2009-02-03T21:15:00.002+08:00

as usual, was playing with Roziah this morning when she accidentally poked the palm of my left hand with her mechanical pencil. it was so damn painful, man. plus the ink pensel tekan broken and it stays/remains in my daging up to this very moment. damn painful.

as i seldom got injured, i became so sakai i even asked mom, "will this kills me?". mom and aunt laughed their heart out over my supid joke of the day. i was like, *drop jaw* -- what so funny? is it even close to funny? i'm in pain, ok! *still, drop jaw*...

SAKIT!!! how can i get this thing out of my daging??? help me!!!... but please, don't tell me to use jarum or anything sharp to poke that thing out. i'm fobia of jarum. gheheh!

-- lesson of the day:
JANGAN NAKAL DI TEMPAT KERJA!!!

This is the Life I Live.

a post..

Dear Mr. Santa...

hello, world!

~ ♥ ~

My Dream Wedding!

The Twilight Saga : Eclipse (2010) & Remember Me (2010)

Will You Marry Me?...

my heart bleeds!

i hate assignments!~

new love!~ ♥

kenapa...

Thank God I Found You...

Happy Mother's Day, Mothers!~

Money, Money, Come To Mommy!~

♥ my new love ♥

Tamadun Islam lecture... i like!!!~

sorry.. :(

jingle bells, oh, jingle bell...

i'm on my way towards becoming a teacher...

just another quick update...

quick update!

my 10th day as a volunteer...

my 8th day as a volunteer...

oh, what a life...

i embarrassed myself this morning...

life, oh, life...

inikah transformasi???

i love you, allison iraheta...

curi-ed from we-win...

my first day as an internet engineer executive...

Akademi Fantasia 7 (Tugasan Minggu Ke-4)

got tagged by the cute cik eli... :)

Old Rex Cucur Udang Cafe, Satok, Kuching...

Akademi Fantasia 7 (Tugasan Minggu Ke-3)

when you're a thalassemia carrier...

moderate drinking good for bones -- SO TRUE!

life's a bitch!

Akademi Fantasia 7 (Tugasan Minggu Pertama)

Graphic Designers Are Cute!

all of sudden...

just another crap!

arghhh!!! benci!!!

i found this interesting...

ANTM Cycle 12 Episode 2!!! credits to seeyoshirun!!!

ANTM Cycle 12 Episode 1!!! credits to seeyoshirun!!!

America's Next Top Model (Cycle 12)

BODOH KAH SAYA???

a nice quote to share...

Lee Min-ho, Saranghae!!!

to a friend...

some people are just too self-centered!

my, Oh my...

hrmmm, i'm thinking of...

Heart - Alone.mp3

the 6th!

Single,... and Unemployed! Dammit!

Download in Progress!

everything's changing. so fast.

An assignment given by WiWin

2008 cute's blogger award from cik eli, cik tina and encik angenzzz... tenkiu, tenkiu. saya tahu saya (memang!) cute...

saya telah di-"tag" oleh cik eli!!! *wink wink*

indonesian music vs malaysian music!

Selimut Hati...

...

...

...

confessions of a broken heart...

tick, tock, tick, tock...

urghhh!

m, m & m -- the initial game.

i envy them!!!

2009-02-10

happy valentine's day, everybody!!!

Quote.

untitled!

Snoop Dogg, can you please adopt me? Please...

"hadiah" untuk orang nakal.

saya telah di-"tag" oleh cik eli!!! wink wink